To Help or Not to Help: That Is the Skating Question

As a skating instructor/coach, I see struggling skaters all the time. It’s part of the job. Even when I’m clearly wearing a coach’s jacket, ID badge, or that universal symbol of authority—holding a clipboard—some folks still wave me off with a polite, “Oh, no… I’m good.”
And you know what? In a public skating setting, I believe them. I smile, introduce myself, and leave them with: “If I can help, just let me know.” Then I skate off into the sunset like a respectful roller skating cowboy.

Because here’s the thing: knowing how to “read the room”—or more accurately, read the rink—is an essential coaching skill. Not every skater wants help, even if they’re clearly locked in a life-or-death battle with their inside edges. Maybe their friends or family are watching and they’re self-conscious. Maybe they’re just trying to survive their last lap so they can collapse onto the bench with dignity. Or maybe (and this is real) they’re not convinced I know more than they do about skating.

The Ego Equation
Offering help can unintentionally say: “I skate better than you.” (And sometimes, that’s true. But still.) Ego is a fragile, slippery thing on wheels. No one likes feeling corrected—especially by a stranger—and especially if they’re already frustrated. So if your well-meaning offer is met with “I’m fine,” take them at their word. It’s not personal. Sometimes, the best help you can give is to back off and let them figure it out on their own.

That said, teachers have a sixth sense. We might not say anything, but we’re definitely watching. You can spot us across the rink doing subtle “coach charades”—tilting our head, rotating our arms, or silently demonstrating the correct position like some kind of skate whisperer. If you see us gesturing vaguely in your direction, don’t worry, we’re not casting spells. We’re just hoping you’ll notice the better way to do it.

For Instructors: Ask, Don’t Ambush
If the skater is a student or someone you recognize from class, it’s totally okay to skate up and casually ask: “What are you working on?” It opens the door to a conversation without barging in with “Here’s what you’re doing wrong.” (Because, yikes.)

But—and this is important—that question doesn’t entitle anyone to a free 15-minute private lesson in the middle of a busy public session. Teachers are often keeping an eye on everyone’s safety, multiple students’ progress, and their own stamina. So if you want more in-depth feedback, book a private lesson or sign up for a class. Quick advice? Always happy to give it. But please don’t treat skating teachers like a vending machine for free tips—we’ve gotta make a living too!

For Skaters: Beware of Rink-Side Advice Givers
Here’s a truth bomb: not everyone who gives skating advice should be giving skating advice.
You’ll run into self-declared experts who might’ve seen a triple toe loop on TikTok and suddenly think they’re Olympic coaches. Then there are the well-meaning helpers who are actually skilled, but are using a completely different technique than what you’re learning in your lessons. It can be confusing at best, counterproductive at worst.

So what should you do?
Try it. Seriously.
If the advice seems safe and doesn’t go against the basic laws of physics or your better judgment—give it a spin. Worst case? It doesn’t work. Best case? It might just click. Sometimes it’s not what someone says, but how they say it that finally makes your brain and body sync up. One person’s “push through the inside edge” might be another person’s “dig into the floor with your big toe wheel,” and suddenly you’re flying across the floor like a pro.

Being open to feedback—even from unexpected sources—builds more than just your skills. It builds your community. Skating is better when we’re supporting each other, cheering each other on, and occasionally laughing together when we all wipe out trying that new footwork. (Hey, it happens.)

Final Thought: Mutual Respect Rolls a Long Way
Whether you’re a coach, a student, or a self-taught roller artist carving your way through the rink—mutual respect is the smoothest path forward. Teachers, don’t assume. Skaters, don’t dismiss. Stay curious, stay kind, and above all… stay upright (as much as possible).
And remember: the best help is offered with humility, received with openness, and occasionally punctuated by a dramatic fall and an even more dramatic comeback.